I really, -REALLY- wish I could channel my creativity. It's always such a ping-pong affair; for five days, I will be ALL ABOUT MAKING MASKS. The sixth day, I am a dullard whose most creative thought is switching from one show on Netflix to another, unrelated show.
I need to write down everything even resembling a joke that my brain produces in the next few days, and maybe I can get fifteen minutes of stuff to swap out around town for the next couple of months.
Shit. I'm coming up with a stand-up routine. Right now.
I hate this about my brain. It's a quarter after one in the morning, I'm tipsy, and I have to find a notebook RIGHT NOW to at least get reminders down so I can attempt to come back in the morning and remember the jokes.
But yeah. I have a couple of minutes.
YouTube showed me a little screenshot of Carrot Top performing recently.
Dude looks like an orange version of the lion from The Jim Henson Hour, with a perm.
Also, I wish he never got swole. He went from this skinny, awkward ginger kid to a guy who looks like he and his shitty thrash band want to beat me up.
My granny may never have understood me; she always loved me, deeply. I am her first grandbaby, and I'm pretty sure Beeper is her first great-grandbaby. She always did her best to show me how much she cared, right down to making me and me alone fried chicken because the boiled shrimp she spent the afternoon making for everyone else disgusted me.
To say I don't want her to go is an understatement.
My Paw-Paw was pretty shrewd financially, and of course the times were different. Granny will pass down a substantial amount of savings, stock holdings, etc.
It's almost all set down in the will to go to my dad.
My dad's trucking along, but has heart issues, and has for years.
If Granny passes, I am suddenly randomly eligible for a whole bunch of fucking Death Money. It's a horrible goddamned countdown timer.
So YEAH, this is unwelcome news on every emotional front.
Most of those uncomfortable things are due to inheritance.
Granny has three living children:
✅ A married, well-off, Type-A, rabidly Christian daughter
✅ A widowed, dependent daughter who's lived with her as caretaker when it's mostly the other way around
✅ A retired son (my dad), married, doing okay financially but nowhere along the lines of my aunt, A.
Discussions of the will already lead to past unhappiness. I don't know what fights may happen when it's probate time.
Dang. My granny (my dad's mom, and my only surviving grandparent) is in the hospital after what may? have been a stroke.
My aunt was present when it happened, discovered her right away, immediately called 911. It could've been far worse.
Granny's pretty dang old at this point, though, and as the doctors examined her, they discovered her pacemaker needs a new battery. That's a pretty invasive surgery for someone her age.
If she passes, a lot of uncomfortable things happen.
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